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Feeling Human Again

WOW, it's been forever since I've posted in here. I remember when I used to post every day. I've really no excuse, other than I've been working two jobs lately, and still barely making ends meet. But it is getting better, I was finally able to replace the camera that broke on me last April. Other than that, up until this past Friday, I haven't even felt human. I've been feeling untouchable, like one of those junkyard dogs chained to the fence (with the irratibility of one as well)

And then, Friday morning hit. I woke up realizing I left my Yahoo on all night, and a friend had been messaging me, from 1am--this was at 6am. So thinking she was asleep, I sent my apology, only to have it answered in 5 seconds. Needless to say, we chatted for a bit before I went to work, and her parting words were "you make me smile, and I enjoy talking with you." and an exchange of phone numbers after maybe 6 months of chatting casually.

OK, now that put me in a fairly good mood, something I was least expecting. I had a SMILE on my face at job #1 while punching in for the first time in quite a while. WAIT, it doesn't end there. I was bringing some stock from the kitchen to the dining room, and I hear my name being called. I looked around and before I knew it, I was in a bear hug. One of our former hostesses, who left in April after giving birth, had stopped in. She says to me she misses our chats and such.

So now I'm wondering WHAT THE HELL?!?! This can't be happening to me, the magnetic master of problems. And it STILL didn't end with that. Another former co-worker stopped in, and she too gave me a hug. Well, I was still thinking WTH, but with a smile all day long.

Needless to say, I got my phone call Friday night, twice before the first friend left for work. Then this morning, and also this evening, each time ending with a "your alright, you make me smile" So...I guess, I'm feeling human for the first time in a long time. And know something, if feels damned good!!!!!!!!!! Not even my self-centered, controlling ass of a father, or vindictive mother has ruined this mood for me.

Having a bad Day?

Where--A poem

It's small, and the first thing I've written in quite a while, but it entails a lot of deep thinking I've been doing the past couple weeks.

There is some point in the past
A diverging path, a path not taken
It was the wrong direction, and I took it
Wandered down it blindly
Thinking it was right, but it was not
One wrong choice, not so bad
But it started a chain reaction
Down the valleys of my life
Not just one, but many
And as I look back
I find myself lost
For I don't know which turns I made
Or how to get back

©2007 Todd Behrmann

Some Pics I've shot recently

Here's a few pics I've shot recently. The first two are my nephew, the last one is my pal Joey's new addition (well, not so new anymore as he acquired her 4 weeks ago). The kitten's mother abandoned her at 2 weeks, and Joey nursed her to full health.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Small rant about 9/11

What really gets me about this whole thing? They are treating the 11th as if it were a holiday, something to celebrate. It's nothing more than a tragic day. WHY are we celebrating it as a holiday. I think the best thing to wear is black, as that is the universally accepted (at least on this planet) color for mourning.

All these ceremonies, etc are doing is making us remember the tragedy that happened.

And all Bush is using it for is propaganda.

What eyes do I have

You scored as Eyes of Mystery, You have eyes of the mysterious. You think deeply and wonder about things that other people usually dont give a second thought. You tend to hide your emotions because you believe no one will understand, yet you are quite comfortable anyways. Even though you may be in pain, you are used to it by now, and have actually become quite numb. Gaze at the stars and absorb their mystery.

~thx 4 takin my quiz~

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Eyes of Mystery

95%

Eyes of Rage

85%

Eyes of Blood

80%

Eyes of Crystal

65%

What Is Revealed by Your Eyes?
created with QuizFarm.com</tr>

How do I say this?

Exactly, how do I say this. Yesterday I was mere hours away from possible death, 103.5 degree temperature, swollen throat, swollen mouth, etc. All from a tooth. I had gone into the urgent care on Tuesday, and they gave me Penicillin and Tylenol 3, claiming it was a minor infection. Ok, so I followed directions, and went to work Weds (yesterday) with my mouth all of a sudden swollen, my throat swollen, etc. I still went to work. 2 hours into my shift, I blanked out for half a second, luckily it wasn't in front of the grills or fryers. So I left work, went back to the urgent care thinking I was having an allergic reaction to the penicillin, nope, the infection from an abcessed tooth had gotten into my bloodstream. Driving my temp up to 103.5. I was pumped into an IV, along with Morphine, 2 types of antibiotics, 2 types of steroids. Blood drawn from both arms. All because my initial visit they didn't bother to check the tooth I said was causing the pain. It took them 4 hours to get my fever down to 101, then they had me transfer to Fond du Lac where there was a specialist on duty. Now note here, that 104.5 is a fatal temp, where certain organs begin to shut down, and I was told I was lucky to go in yesterday when I did, or things could be much worse. Now tomorrow morning, I have to go back to see the specialist, because before they can do anything with the tooth, all the infection needs to be cleaned out of my system, and I'm hoping that is soon, because I can't risk losing any more work.

Branching Out....

For those that have known me longer than my Myspace/LJ days, you know I've always been interested in Photography and Graphic Arts (my degree LOL)

Well, with my move to a new job and 1st shift, I am finding I have the time to pursue this dream. I'm going to branch out in my spare time, and do Photos on a TFCD (Time-for CD) basis and create a portfolio. I already have a profile started on Model Mayhem, searching for models in my area, etc.  http://modelmayhem.com/member.php?id=358772

I hope this pans out for me, as it would fulfill one of my dreams as a child and teen.